gaga <3

so happyy i could dieeeee <3

BLURB TWO.

i've come to realize that
i'm bound to spend my life
A L O N E
no friends.no love.no nothing
people are never who they seem
i'm tired of bein let down
& toyed with,
i'm a strong person
but, ive had enough
so, being alone
is the only way to
avoid being hurt
avoid bullshit
& most of all
avoiding raw, beautiful
pure & intoxicating

e m o t i o n

splat.

..aquatic memories

slip out of my eyes,

travel throughout my skin,

eroding.

leaving behind autobiographical lines,

giving yu a taste

of how i've felt.

of my burdens

& personal hell.

showing yu where i've been.

what crawls beneath my skin.

my internal demons.

For Kayla Janae.

You're too beautiful to cry cold tears
from those vibrant green eyes
only smiles & soft kisses
should mark your face.
not the saltyy taste of
tear duct waste.
with every icy drop that
falls from yur eyes.
comes a kiss from my lips
to bid yur sorrow & pain goodbye
i love yu more than words can explain.
I'll be by yur side.
in sunshine & in rain.
anything yu need
i'll be there to provide.
yur best friend.
yur confidant.
yur ride or die.

I LOVE YU KAYLA JANAE.

Out Of Order.

years of games.
maltreatment & pain,
circles traced in the cement;
from all the time we spent,
going back & forth
round and round.
the sound of yur voice resounds
all those broken promises
'i love you's & that other
useless shit that use to slide of yur tongue
oil slick....
memories & those sweet things
brought me to my knees
& convinced me to regress..
even after i said i was done.
yur cleverness & charm lured me back in,
love generically described as sweet as sin
for nothing good has come from this ' l o v e ' of ours.
& after all this time
i've decided to give up.
no more yu & i.
& when yu catch yur hand outstretched
towards the beating mass in my chest.
you'll find an 'out of order sign'
neatly placed on this heart of mine.
yur words & gentle caresses will no longer be enough
to breach the crevices of
my fragile emotional obstruction.
an 'out of order' sign,
is what you'll be clutchin.

yu can say all yu want to say
that love will never come yur way
that yu could care less & dont need it
yu dont need to be caressed &feel as if yu succeeded.
yu can can say that love is too much of a hassle & it isnt for everyone
but behind closed doors no one wants to be alone.
its human nature to want to be close to someone,
its instinct that attracts yu to another.
& its also natural to fear such a strong emotion
& to fear commitment & the utterance of the word eternity.
BUT if yu let fear & insecurities hold yu back.
you'll never be whole.
for lonely is the man that fears love.

neglect.

i havent been on here in a while.

i have a great excuse. wana hear it? OK.

iv been brain dead lately.
cerebelum's been filled with senseless thoughts.
nothing slick and laced with fire has escaped my lips in a while.
the cold waters called life have
doused my words and drowned my thoughts.
filled my mental capacity with nothingness
while all the good shit floats away from my train of thought
or sinks down to an unreachable sector of my brain,.
Im gonna come back.
but for now im on a hiatus.
i'll leave yu with these lines
i could muster up in this quick little second.
i hope yur satified.
until next time.